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Say Their Name Day

By Brooke Smith

Don't Forget Jett - Say Their Name

I created this page for Say Their Name Day to raise funds for Sands and Red Nose so they can continue their important work supporting bereaved families across Australia.

If you can support my fundraiser, you will be helping to bring care and comfort to families when they need it most.

Every dollar raised helps support bereaved families by making sure every family has access to the information and networks they need to move forward and rebuild their lives, now and in the future. 

That means timely access to information resources, an understanding voice on the end of the phone, and an ongoing connection with other families through support groups and remembrance activities.

So please, help me raise much-needed funds to ensure every bereaved family has access to the support they need, for as long as they need it.

Thank you.

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My Updates

1 in 4

Friday 12th Mar
I realised very quickly how many stories people had of their sister in law, or mum, or cousin’s friend, that had experienced baby loss in one form or another.
1 in 4 women experience baby loss, either miscarriage, stillborn or infant loss (not long after birth).
I wouldnt have know these stories.
I have close family and some friends who have experienced this but as the saying goes you dont really know what it is like until you experience it yourself. Trust me, one experience I wouldnt wish on  anyone!!
I guess for me its raising awareness that this does happen, and its ok to talk about it. It needs to be spoken about and not hidden away like a taboo subject.
Ok, there are days I cant talk about it, I try and push it to the back of my brain, but its still there just lurking around.
It was only 30-40years ago where if this did happen the baby would be taken away (no goodbyes) and the mother would be sent home to just deal with it, to lock it away in their heart and get on with mothering duties! No support, no counselling, a husband that wouldn’t speak of it and no support for him. To be made to feel less womanly because they can’t provide a living baby. Must be something wrong with her!
I hope that in 30 years time things will change again. It will be openly discussed, support services available and medical staff given support they need to support  families. And less families in these situations.

How many children do you have?

Friday 12th Mar
I think one of the things i struggled with in the beginning is when people asked how many children you have? 
I proceed to tell them but then have this internal fight for what seemed like minutes whether to mention Jett or not.  He is my boy, he was my child, they should know! 
I remember having a few ackward conversation, especially once I returned to work and seeing contractors who knew i was on Maternity leave, but now I was back. 
The times I did explain i felt that look of almost pity,  you poor thing etc, i didnt want to be treated that way. But i also knew they mostly cared and didnt really know what else to do or say. Sometimes I just wanted them to stop talking, as they try and dig themselves out of the uncomfortable situation!
Now if presented with this  I just select my moments.  Not everyone needs to know. I know Jett is my boy and always will be.
Some people would ask questions about what happened, others avoided it at all costs.
I get it, who wants to talk about dying let alone that of a baby. If we dont speak about it then how do we let others know they are not alone. 

Telling people

Friday 12th Mar
I think one of the hardest things to do was to tell people. Telling family and friends what happened.
I think because you dont want to hurt those around you, with news like this. Seeing their sadness along side yours. Its hard.
I remember telling our big kids (who were 14 & 9 at the time) what had happened. Our youngest was nearly 18 months, so she didnt really know what was happening. They were with us when i went into labour. They were in the waiting room as I was whisked away. They knew he was born, but there were some problems. We wanted to be the ones to tell them. I was trying to be brave. I stayed home while Grant went and got them from their mum’s (she knew briefly what had happened) They came home all chatty....as soon as I saw them, that was it, i started crying, they were of course worried. But we were honest and told them exactly what happened. A few tears were shed. And many questions answered. 

Of course we had also made an announcement on Facebook that we were expecting our second bub.  The world knew of our excitement, now we had to tell them of our sadness, our unexpected sadness.
I remember sitting down a couple of days later putting something together for Facebook and an email to work colleagues. 
I guess the truth, even if it was hard to hear, was what happened.
It became easier over time.
Alot of people avoided the conversation.  Or they didnt know what to say. I get that. Its a hard thing to talk about at times.
I had a few friends actually ask me if it was ok to talk about it. I thought that was one of the best things i had been asked. If i was happy to talk about Jett, then they would too. I think those conversations were ones i respected more. That would be a tough question to ask anyone.
Jett was only here for a short time but has impacted people’s lives in ways i didnt think possible.

Jett’s beginning

Wednesday 24th Feb
As you may know, we lost our little boy Jett in 2016. He arrived into this world at 33 weeks on a day trip to Bunbury.
Perfect birth, perfect boy except for one imperfection he was missing his windpipe so was unable to breathe. 
He survived for about 20 hours thanks the to Drs, medical staff, RFDS  and of course the wonderful  nurses!
His grandparents said goodbye to him, we said goodbye and Grant and I were then able to be with him. Bathe him, photos with him, copy of his long skinny feet, and handprints. Measure and weigh him.
Kiss him and love him.

The whole experience was a blur, another reality. Why was it happening to us?
I remember one of the specialists say to me first up...don’t blame yourself. It was not your fault and you could do nothing to change the outcome.  I love him for that.

All happening with respect from the nurses and social workers. So much love for our boy, who they just met too. Tears falling from the eyes of the nurses. 
They were also checking on me, making sure i was ok, tablets to stop my milk coming in, ensuring we had something to eat, explaining the processes, step by step. 

Then leaving the hospital a few hours later without a baby.  A void
I remember getting into a Taxi, with a nurse walking us out, with a baby box they give out to infant loss parents.
And there our journey began...

Thank you to my Sponsors

$53

Gail Smith

For our darling Jett who is with us every day. To Brooke and Grant who handled everything with strength and courage.

$50

Brooke Smith

$50

Niecy

Love you Brookey 💙😪💙

$31.80

Chelsee Dryden

My beautiful nephew Jett always in our hearts 💙

$31.80

Cameron Tuck

$21.20

Jess Thomson

Jett 💙

$21.20

Craig Yardley

$21.20

Daniel Strange

$20

Elizabeth Riley

Hi Brooke. I'll nevèr forget Jett. I hope to meet him someday. Love Grandma