In loving memory...

By Courtney Hayes

I do not wish for my donation to appear on the memory wall.

Every little life matters and deserves to be celebrated

I created this page for Say Their Name Day to raise funds for Sands and Red Nose so they can continue their important work supporting bereaved families across Australia.

If you can support my fundraiser, you will be helping to bring care and comfort to families when they need it most.

Every dollar raised helps support bereaved families by making sure every family has access to the information and networks they need to move forward and rebuild their lives, now and in the future. 

That means timely access to information resources, an understanding voice on the end of the phone, and an ongoing connection with other families through support groups and remembrance activities.

So please, help me raise much-needed funds to ensure every bereaved family has access to the support they need, for as long as they need it.

Thank you.

My Updates

Our Story

Tuesday 23rd Mar

It was Friday the 15th January, we went to see our midwife for a check up, I was two days over due.

It was busy that day, our midwife took us into the maternity ward into a free bed. 

My belly was moving and tensing and my midwife told us I was having contractions. 

Derek and I looked at each other with excitement, we thought this was it, we are going to have our baby today.

Our midwife went and got the machine to listen to the baby’s heartbeat. We could see her trying to find it. 

We were taken back into the labour ward so we could have a look on the ultrasound machine. 

As I laid there with Derek sitting by my side, holding my hand tightly we waited to see that little flicker of the heart beat on the screen, just praying.

Our midwife went to find the doctor to help with the machine.

I looked to Derek and I said what’s going on, what if they can’t find anything and I burst into a cry. Derek had tears in his eyes but stayed strong holding onto my hand.

The doctor and midwives came in, the doctor explained he was going to have a look with a better machine. We sat and waited. 

We watched the screen intently, the silence in the room was deafening, I abruptly asked ‘what’s going on’, he replied ‘I’m sorry I can’t find a heart beat.’

Dereks cry cracked the silence of the room and my body froze, I went completely numb and couldn’t look at anyone or anything. I started to cry with Derek. None of it felt real or made any sense.

The doctor advised they would take us down stairs to have another person take a look. We were walked down the halls and into the elevator.

We went into the small dark room, we watched the screen looking for something. I thought I felt her kick my right side until we heard the words again ‘Im sorry I can’t find a heart beat.'

They explained what they could see to clarify our baby had died, but it felt like everything went silent and our whole world had collapsed from beneath us.

They left us in the room, we grabbed a hold of each other in tears, Derek said to me “We will get through this okay, we will get through this, we have to be strong." 

We held each other so tight and in so much pain while our hearts had just been shattered. 

Our family was called, we met together and was told what would happen next for us; we were given the weekend to go home, be together and prepare to give birth to our little girl on Sunday.

It didn’t feel like home, it felt like we were surrounded by walls and silence. 

We held our dogs, we cried and talked about what had just happened to us and tried to make sense of it. 

But all we could think was the worst was yet to come. 

We both tossed and turned in bed all night; awake at 4:00am, we got up and walked the dogs until the sun came up. That Saturday morning was so cold, we slept through some of the day and just waiting for the next day to come. 

We woke up at 6:30am. We got dressed and ready, we had my clothes and a bag of food ready and packed and we got in the car and drove out to the hospital to be there at 8:00am. 

We arrived at the hospital, before we walked in the doors we hugged each other, telling each other we are going to get through this and that we love each other no matter what.

We went in and we felt as ready as we could for one of the biggest days of our lives. 

We were taken into the labour room where we met with our midwives and the doctor. 

My labour was brought on using a tablet. While we waited we spent the morning talking, walked around the golf course and comforting each other waiting for our baby to be born. 

My contractions became more and more intense and then my waters broke. Straight away my body was telling me I was ready. 

Derek held my hand through the entire time, telling me I could do this and to keep going, I've got this.

Our little girl was born in less than 20 minutes. 

I looked over and your were laying there on the bed, I couldn’t believe how beautiful you were. 

The first thing I said was 'she is beautiful, she looks like a little doll'. 

I cried and I smiled at the same time when I looked at you for the first time. 

They wrapped you up and we held you. We were in awe and disbelief. 

I looked at you and your dad. 

I smiled looking at you and a wave of sadness came over me at the same time, that this was our reality, you were alive and now you are not.

We couldn't believe that you were this little human that we had created and that you finally were here.

You were the most beautiful and precious thing we ever could've hoped for. 

The hours we spent holding you, kissing you, telling you our hopes and dreams will never be enough for us. 

Every day we think of you, we see you and feel your presence in everything we do. 

Tilly Marie Thompson born 17th January 2021, our first born and beautiful little girl. 

You will never be forgotten, love Mum & Dad xx