We never heard Noah cry, never heard him make a sound. It’s something I will always wonder about. Of all the wondering, what would he have sounded like?
My beautiful Noah, my second child, little brother to big brother Charlie and loved son to Michael, was born in January 2021. He was 55cm long and weighed 3.7kg.
He died two days later.
After a pregnancy with no major issues, even during early labour, it was a shock to be rushed to theatre for an emergency C-section. Despite being in none of the major risk categories, my placenta abrupted. This meant that during labour, Noah was without oxygen. He spent his short life in NICU.
We didn’t get to spend a lifetime with Noah, but we are so grateful to The Women’s, especially the NICU team, for the time we were able to have with him.
Noah is a much-loved member of our family despite no longer being in our arms. We want to talk about him and the amazing impact his life had on our family. Instead of announcing the birth of our baby, we had to announce his death. Yes, there is a particular type of silence for death caused by old age or illness.
But, when a baby dies, the silence is deafening.
We share our story because it’s nice to share our Noah with the world, even though his story isn’t a happy one. It’s still his, and we are the only ones who can tell the world about him. And if we can’t say his name, who will?
Nothing can make Noah’s death ok, but having support around us, especially from people who have experienced the same thing, has helped. When Noah died, we were connected, by the hospital, to a Red Nose Bereavement support worker through the Hospital to Home program. We have also attended some of the group support sessions.
We love and miss Noah every day. Moving on, silence and time don’t take away that feeling. We have to be brave, accept, talk about and carry our second-born son differently.
We just celebrated Noah 5th birthday in January 2026. Noah is now a big brother to our B3, Darcy, who was born in 2022 and sister Jean in 2024. The five of us were joined by family and friends, by the beach, to celebrate our forever baby, who turned five.
The relief that his name was spoken so much on that day, especially with gusto when we sang Happy Birthday and on the top of a cake is something difficult to describe and one of the many fears I had when he died. How easily would he be forgotten? Would we be the only ones who said his name? Would it only be said inside our home, like some secret?
We have an incredible village around us and as a family we are always so grateful for the acceptance of how we bring Noah into the present.
We often use his name when reading the book I read at his funeral to Jean and Darcy at bedtime, ‘Noah’s’ book is Under the Love Umbrella by Davina Bell.
Noah comes with us on holidays, appears in family photos, albeit in his little wooden urn, and Noah’s big brother Charlie is probably the best at reminding us, he’s everywhere and with us all the time so even if we aren’t saying his name, he knows we love him and is the most precious sixth member of our family. Our B2, Noah Henry.
Say Their Name Day is on March 25 – a special day to remember all of the little lives we have loved and lost, and support bereaved families.
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