“I encourage all Australians to get behind Say Their Name Day as this is a day that means so much to loss families. We wish everyday that we could talk about our children without fear of judgement or making someone uncomfortable, but having this day makes us feel safe to say their names."
Lauran - Theo's mum
Our son Theo who was born sleeping on 5 June 2023.
Spending those last precious moments and holding Theo in our arms, our little man had the most beautiful red curly hair, just like his daddy. Theo was the sweetest little boy who had the most beautiful little nose. We imagine that he would be obsessed with dinosaurs (just like his dad), have a thirst for knowledge and be the sweetest kid in school.
Rewind three days prior and at 28 weeks gestation, my husband and I heartbreakingly made the decision to terminate the pregnancy due to severe renal abnormalities that meant Theo’s bladder, kidneys and lungs hadn’t developed properly. He died in my womb on 2 June 2023 and what I’d experienced next did not prepare me for the overwhelming grief that soon took over.
Red Nose became the lifeline we needed
We were first connected with Red Nose through the Hospital to Home program when Theo was born. We had our first initial appointment a few days after his birth and received five further support sessions, including months of counselling.
Filled with grief, we were these new people we didn’t recognise anymore.
Red Nose provided us the opportunity to talk openly about our loss and talk through our grief with someone who understood what we were going through. We found the sessions so incredibly helpful during that time in our lives.
After finishing our Hospital to Home sessions, we continued to see the counsellor in the Canberra Office and still do. We wanted to continue to receive support in the lead up to Theo’s first birthday as well as preparing to go through another pregnancy after loss.
To other parents experiencing loss
I would like to firstly say I’m sorry for anyone who is going through similar pain - it is a pain that no one should ever feel.
I don’t want to say it gets easier; you learn to live and navigate your grief. Don’t be afraid to seek help if needed and say your child’s name with pride.
Going to our first Say Their Name Day in 2024
We attended the Say Their Name Ceremony in Canberra last year where we were honoured to stand up and read a poem on our son’s behalf.
We found the event very moving and a lovely tribute for loss families to be able to share their baby’s names and the reasoning behind the choice of name. We met other loss family members during the ceremony, felt it really brought the community together and we found it a safe place to talk about our son.
I encourage all Australians to get behind Say Their Name Day as this is a day that means so much to loss families. We wish everyday that we could talk about our children without fear of judgement or making someone uncomfortable, but having this day makes us feel safe to say their names.
Remembering Theo
We have numerous pictures and remembrance items around the house of Theo, but we mainly have an area in our garden that is for him. Every birthday or special event, we get a new ornament for it. We also started a Christmas Day tradition for Theo’s first Christmas where we take baked goods to the hospital for the midwives to enjoy on Christmas Day.
Last year I also created a journal for bereaved parents in Theo’s honour called ‘The Birthdays Without You’ which is designed for family members to write letters and wishes to their child on their birthday each year and complete little activities throughout the journal on what they believe their child would be doing.
Our new journey
Alex and I have recently welcomed Theo’s little sister into the world. Melanie was born on New Years Eve last year. It is so bittersweet to see their similarities in looks and we are able to vision what Theo would have been like.
Make a donation to help us support grieving families
Say Their Name Day is on March 25 – a special day to remember all of the little lives we have loved and lost, and support bereaved families.
