We were given the gift of time with him - an afternoon, a night, and the next morning. James was tiny, just 190 grams. He had the sweetest lips, the cutest little button nose. He was perfect, and he was ours.
Tracy - James's mum
Finding Out We Were Pregnant
We found out we were pregnant with James while on holiday in the United States, of all places, at Disneyland. I used to joke that it really is the happiest place on earth. We were preparing to begin the IVF journey, so falling pregnant naturally felt like the most beautiful and completely unexpected gift. When we reached 10 weeks, the harmony test came back clear. We were relieved, hopeful, convinced that this meant everything would be okay.
When Our Hopes Changed
At our 12-week scan, the news was not what we expected. There were concerns. We were told to wait, to come back, to hope the next scan would tell a different story. At 16 weeks, it did not. We had more scans. We sought a second opinion. And then we heard the words no parent should ever have to hear - 'there was a global issue'.
Our beautiful boy was not growing. By 20 weeks, we were forced to make the most impossible decision of our lives. I had to deliver him.
Meeting Our Son
It felt surreal. I had always imagined what childbirth would be like, but never like this. This time, we knew we would not be bringing our baby home. Still, we were given the gift of time with him for an afternoon, a night, and the next morning. James was tiny, just 190 grams. He had the sweetest lips, the cutest little button nose. He was perfect, and he was ours.
Support Through Red Nose
Through my work at Nine Network, I already knew of the compassionate support offered by Red Nose. I was grateful to have strong support around me, but it was comforting knowing Red Nose was only ever a phone call away.
What Loved Ones Can Do
You do not need to have the perfect words or a cure for the grief. Simply showing up and acknowledging that our child existed, that he has a name, and that he is loved is the greatest gift anyone can give. Hearing our child's name feels like a hug for my soul. It tells me you have not forgotten that his life mattered, and that I do not have to be the only one keeping his memory alive.
Our Family
My husband, Liam Connolly, is 39. Our baby girl Mila was born on October 2, 2025, and is almost five months old. Liam also has a daughter, my stepdaughter Sophia, who turns seven this year. Among all the love and chaos of our family, we keep James close. We have a small shrine for him, his ashes, his tiny foot and handprints, his baby wrap and beanie. At Christmas, his bauble hangs on our tree. And every day, I carry a keyring with his photo.
Holding Space for Grief
Grief is just love with nowhere to go. To every parent walking this path: we see your love, your pain, and your child. We are part of a brave, heartbroken, and beautiful family of parents who understand.
Say Their Name Day is on March 25 – a special day to remember all of the little lives we have loved and lost, and support bereaved families.
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